Wednesday, January 23

Insecure Men

I got the "you work too much, I disgust you, you don't love me, you don't want to be with me, I'm not number one" talk yesterday and I was feeling pretty frustrated. Why is it that Men are so insecure? Dude, you are seriously jealous of a CAREER! It doesn't have a dick. Oh and the best part is after all the whining then I get "Do you want to have sex?" Uh, NO! Why would you think after that display I would be even somewhat in the mood?

I'll go play with my bullet now.


Monday, January 21

Curiosity Saved the Cat

I was feeling un-inspired, if you couldn't tell from yesterday's post. Then after the day I had at the office, I wasn't feeling any better. 11am - 6pm of meetings, that at the end of the day didn't really achieve anything more than I started the with. (I don't have the time to be pissing away people! Or maybe I do, I don't know.)

Anyway, I go and check netvibes. Something I try to do daily, because I always seem to find some perspective there. Low and behold, Seth's done it again...Curiosity certainly saved this cat.

As the person who commented on yesterday's post said "In the end, you'll be okay". I guess I will.


Sunday, January 20

In search of inspiration

More and more it has become harder for me to get inspired or excited about anything. Can someone become an addict to inspiration? I feel like a junkie that is constantly searching for the next inspirational high. When I don't find it, I can't help but feel severely disappointed, irritated and unsuccessful. It has gotten so bad, I am obsessive to the point where I can’t go to sleep until I pass out.

I want to make snow angels in the nude up at the local elementary school. Just to feel the sting of the snow on my ass.

Somebody inspire me…please

Saturday, January 19

How it all started

A yapping dog…1 of 4, but that is okay. I wake to her practically everyday. I get up, once I become more tired of hearing her yap than I am actually tired. She isn't a small dog - but a Labrador retriever that just knows how to mouth off. Stumble into the bathroom then into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the four furry children. Feed them, and then outside they go. Now what?

I can get back in bed, but I am so unmotivated I can't even do that. I find the couch and a white binder that has been sitting on the coffee table for over 3 weeks now. I flip thru and don't see anything worth any interest. The phone rings I need to check the tidal charts. Low Tide is 10:22 am High Tide will be 5:55 pm, I will have the entire day to myself. Good, I think?

I find my way back to the couch and that white binder. I read The Whole Egg, I know aren't you jealous. Reading The Whole Egg, puts me in a weird "I lost the battle, but the war isn't over" mood. I go back to the computer and email the owner of my company. He has put me in a position at the company where he hopes I will be able to create change. However, The Whole Egg is an artifact from someone before my time that tried to execute the very same change that I am now chasing. Before I let myself feel any despair I first must piece together this piece of history. I feel like a bizarre joke of an archeologist. We start emailing back and forth, ending the conversation with his recommendation to call the 2008 Campaign The Cracked Egg. This is hilarious and sad all at the same time. It has become clear on a Saturday when I shouldn’t be thinking about work, if I am successful it will be anything short of miracle. Miracles are not impossible, are they?